The Frills of Life is the Life Worth Living
It’s not about grand gestures or expensive escapades
At the time of writing, I just finished up an hour of Bingo game hosted by my company. During this COVID season, with a lot of lives disrupted and home-bound, the company is trying to inject some sort of liveliness and fun into our otherwise virus-anxious days.
It was a success. There was good-natured ribbing, all-around congratulations, and singing and dancing.
More than 60 people showed up in a Zoom call, some with family, some with pets, to partake in a no-stakes-no-pressure game. It was free entry, but if you won, the prize was an Amazon gift card. What a deal.
This isn’t the first time the company hosted an event. Other various Zoom invites dot the weekdays. Yoga, baking, recess time with kids, adapting to working from home check-ins… something for everyone. At a time like this, you see a lot of companies needing to pull back hours, furlough, or not wanting to treat their employees fairly. We should be lucky just to have a job, you’d think. Why would they even go through all that hassle to bring us together?
Because hassle, the frills of life, is a life worth living.
That’s why people take great pride to decorate for the holidays, just to pull them down in a month.
That’s why cakes get ordered, just to be admired for ten minutes but cut, smashed, or eaten in ten seconds.
That’s the reason hundreds of dollars get spent on buying fireworks, just to (literally) blow them out within an hour.
That’s how jewelers, parks and museums, high-end restaurants, numerous clothing and accessories boutiques, outdoor and sports equipment stores, leisure travel industry, and any business deemed optional, came to be.
We are in a time now where most optionals of life are restricted, and the effects are far-reaching. What do we see?
Higher mental health challenges. Greater political, ideology, racial, and class divide. Wider corporate digital divide.
No demographic, nation, or business is immune. Everyone is affected some form or another; the lucky ones come out bruised but intact.
In the past few months, we have largely adapted to the situation. A lot might say that, in some aspects, we are better than before. We are intentionally making more time for relationships, working out, cooking and baking, starting on projects, saving money, and planning virtual get-togethers. All the things that matter, no frills, the simple life.
But if you really think about it, those are frills too, just more muted. What sets it apart than just being is effort.
Growing up with my dad, we were an extremely no-frills family. His mindset and the way he did things were very practical and utilitarian, and as a result, our family lacked intimacy and warmth. We didn’t have conversations around the dinner table, take walks, go for drives, watch movies, listen to music, and definitely didn’t vacation. He was a bystander in life more than a willing participant; no joy emanated from his being.
My dad is retired now, and longs for the feeling of warmth and closeness. But because he didn’t develop a relationship with us when we were younger, we don’t have a strong bond. The frills of memories past are not there to reminisce or laugh over. With this in my DNA, I have often found myself acting the same way. But when I do put effort into things I do, like writing or baking, I find the joy in the effort and aftermath. Hopefully with intent and time, I can change the story for myself.
Like Miss Manners said from 1982, where nonsense is one of the great pleasures of her life, frills help stave off depression, open minds, add sparkle, offer hope, and give warmth.
It’s the effort to not only put food on the table, but to make a meal. Not to paint, but to create. Not to write, but to infuse with meaning. Not only to talk, but to deepen relationships. Effort is what makes color vivid, sounds soothing, joy in laughter, and the feeling in touch. Isn’t that kind of life worth living?
Now to figure out what frill to enjoy with the Amazon gift card I won at Bingo…
