Keep The Good Parts
Change the environment, change the people, but don’t change yourself backwards
When we come into hurt, our natural tendencies are to withdraw and protect. The problem with that is when the threat is gone, the psychological scars remain, and the imprint of that becomes our next blueprint.
A friend is going through something pretty tough now and he’s hurt that he feels like when his friends are going through hard times, he’s there. And he is, because I’ve been on the receiving end of his kindness many times. But now that he’s the one needing support, he doesn’t feel like his friends are there. And he’s about ready to delete them from his life and also scale back his availability to be there for others.
I told him a few things, but if there’s one thing I hope he takes away, is that he doesn’t let others’ actions change the good parts of him. The good part being that he’s there for people when they need it. I try to remind myself the same thing too, that when I’m hurt by others, I don’t want that experience to close me off and jade me. Everyone will get hurt by others, intentionally or not, and what a shame it would be if each time that happened, we lose a bit of ourselves.
What a shame for us and the next person who comes around to get a lesser version of us. Or more jaded version of us.
Society moves forward in progressive ways; companies hope to iterate a better and better version in their next product release. We as people should be no different. A setback is nothing more than an iteration, and you.2 should always, always be better than you.1.
Change the environment, change the people, but don’t change yourself backwards.
