In 2015, I was divorced from my husband.
In 2019, triggered by an event that happened during Thanksgiving, I wrote my first post about divorce for the world to see.
In the four years in between, even though my thoughts and path to healing were not made public, I was doing a lot of work behind the scenes. Fast forward to now, the beginning of 2021, and I am at the most happiest I have ever felt, by myself, focusing on my goals.
Back then, it was a turbulent, roller-coaster time, filled with feelings of shame, worthlessness, and lack of direction. While I didn’t know how I was going to overcome that, there were at least few things I did know I wanted for the…
Before I moved out on my own the first time, I was always able to count on others to do the cooking. After I moved, microwave dinners or pre-cooked food were my go-tos.
Making anything that took more than fifteen minutes, or more than one pot, seemed too elaborate.
Why should I spend so much time and effort when it’s just going to be only for me?
Well, the answer is simple.
It’s because I’m worth it. And you are, too.
When I started taking the time to actually prepare myself something from scratch, it changed my relationship with myself, and boosted my overall happiness. …
I have not written anything in almost a month. I took three weeks road-tripping with a friend, mostly visiting mountains and national or state parks to avoid people because of COVID. It has been months of careful quarantine, and I missed being in nature.
Going on this trip gave me pause due to the length, but I am glad I did, because as trips do, it allowed me to reflect and either learn more about myself, or confirm to me what I already knew.
This time, I knew I am proud of myself and my progress in life, no matter how slow. …
It was a sunny and humid day. I was meeting up with a friend and one of her friends was pet-sitting at a house nearby.
“Let’s go hang out with her there, and relax in the pool,” my friend suggested.
“Sure. I won’t swim, but I’m down for hanging out,” I replied.
And as it goes when women get together, the topic inevitably heads towards men and relationships.
My friend’s friend was filling us in in her dating woes, and the two of them were having a fun time in the pool reading texts from one guy, while I was sitting on a lounge chair in the shade, listening to them. …
In my last turning point piece, I wrote how my ex-husband and I almost didn’t come to be. And that even though we ended in divorce, I have no regrets how things turned out.
Being with him led to another turning point in my life: a career change.
When I met my ex, I was working at a dead-end job.
I hated it and for years, sought a way out, but nothing transpired.
Nothing transpiring meant the positions I was looking for, that paid at least a certain amount, weren’t coming to fruition. There were offers from low-paid, entry level work that wouldn’t have sustained my monthly expenses. I’m not talking a lavish lifestyle, either; I mean a simple, normal existence where I shopped for groceries at Walmart and barely spent on hobbies or entertainment. …
If there’s any trait pervasive about me, it’s that I’m bossy. Throughout my life, I’ve been told that countless times.
You’re so bossy.
And it’s never meant positively, so I’ve always looked at it as something bad. A negative trait.
As such, for years, I’ve been trying to tone it down and rein it in. And you know what, it worked. At least, I thought.
Last year, when we were doing a company-wide workshop of self-assessment, we had to take something called the DiSC assessment.
It’s a model that measures what style of person you are, and how that relates to your work performance. It categorizes you in Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, or Conscientiousness, or a combination of two, with one being more dominant. …
A few days ago, my cousin Kelly Lei published her first post in my new publication, THE TURNING POINT. It’s a publication I hope to build up in capturing people’s stories during a pivotal moment in their lives that led them to where they are today.
She sent out an email promoting her piece. In that email, she also pitched her friends to think about contributing a post as well.
It was definitely a nice and unexpected gesture and, coupled with what she wrote in a private response, it really touched my heart.
She told me to remember my why, and encouraged me to not give up. …
I just finished watching this is PARIS, a documentary of Paris Hilton.
To be honest, I saw it on my YouTube feed a while back, but never decided to click into it because I wasn’t really fond of her.
Growing up in the same period as her, I saw plenty of stories about her and her actions. She struck me as someone shallow, stuck up, fed with a silver spoon, selfish, and unambitious.
Why would I want to watch a documentary about someone who I really didn’t respect her way of life and choices?
This time, though, I thought I would be open-minded and see what she had to say, and I am so glad I did. Not only was it well-produced, but the story was compelling and struck a nerve in me. …
In our lives, there are many turning points that led us to where we are today. As I sat here thinking of mine, it made sense that perhaps I should start from the beginning of one. If you’ve read a couple of my pieces, you’ll know that divorce played a big part in shaping who I am. But before there could be a divorce, there had to be a marriage. And before that, a story of how we almost didn’t come to be. Let’s start there.
My ex and I met on this site called Couchsurfing. It’s a site aimed to connect hosts and travelers so that travelers may find a place to stay at a host’s city. It’s like Airbnb, but free. Besides hosting, there are also options to just meet up and hang out, or plan travel trips with others. It was great back in the days, and I had a lot of fun meeting interesting people. …
Ever since overcoming divorce, I had a strong wish to capture stories of how others felt when they faced hardships or their own fork in the road. Choosing to divorce changed the trajectory of my life and squarely led me to writing on Medium today. Sometimes I wonder where I would be now if I had not taken that route. But one thing is for sure: I would be very unhappy. Divorce was one of my turning points; for others, it could be anything else.
Over the years, I’ve thought about several ways of capturing others’ experiences. I started creating a couple of blogs for this very purpose, but then stopped. …